I listened to a talk earlier this week on forgiveness that went straight to my heart. I knew I wanted to make it the center of my message today. What I didn’t know was how the talk prepared me for what occurred Friday night. I was on the freeway taking my granddaughter home. Some construction came up so I had to merge from the fast lane down to 2 lanes. All of a sudden a driver in a pickup truck came from behind me and tried to quickly squeeze past before the lane closed…..NOT. He completely sideswiped my car. It could have been a disaster but the car on my right must have seen what was happening and moved over which allowed me some space. If the car hadn’t done that, my granddaughter, who was on the passenger side, would have been hit too. All I could do was pray and stay calm🤦🏻♀️. Happily, everyone is fine and no tempers flared. 😉
The author of the talk I read was Jeffrey Holland. My husband and I got to know him when he was the president of BYU. Steve was playing college basketball and I was attending some classes there. In the talk, he used the example of Lot’s Wife (From the Bible’s story of Sodom and Gomorrah) to reference the metaphor of “looking back.” The Lord was very clear…
”Escape for thy life, look not behind thee…; escape to the mountain, lest thou be consumed” (Genesis 19:17)
God warned them all…don’t look back. So it wasn’t a surprise when his wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. He presented the idea that the problem with Lot’s wife wasn’t just looking back—It was that she probably looked back “longingly”. In other words, she had doubts about her future and started remembering what she left behind.
We often make the mistake of looking back longingly at what was lost or taken away from us. When the Lord has given us a fresh start, a new beginning, or even impressed upon us to give someone else a new beginning by forgiving them, it should be over… “We remember it no more”. If we bring it up over and over again—well, that’s the mistake. I love how he said bringing up the past is like throwing bricks through a window pane… But he spelled it P-A-I-N. Nothing good comes from breaking open old wounds or continuing to throw the past back at someone. It leaves everyone broken.
I know it’s easier said than done… but Christ’s gospel teaches us that if we don’t forgive we have not fully accessed the power of Christ’s Atonement. He helps us to forgive, especially when forgiveness is incredibly challenging! I have been pondering this topic as a New Year’s resolution this year. The Apostle Paul so clearly taught:
“This one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus” Philippians 3:13–14]
There isn’t a prize for remembering the fights, the missteps, or the times you were hurt or wronged. The prize is calling on God through Christ Jesus to help us move forward. The prize is to let go of carrying a burden that holds us down. The prize is the joy we feel remembering all the goodness, kindness, and positive experiences that bring light, love, and especially good energy into our lives. Remembering the negative is like continually watching a horror show. It darkens the mind and can even affect our bodies. I mean, let’s be honest, negativity keeps us on the brink of living in the abyss of a black hole… Unfortunately, when we harbor negative experiences, we can use them as bricks to throw at people around us in order to justify our anger and bitterness. And sometimes we even throw those bricks at ourselves. Without our Savior’s help, we can spend what seems like years thinking we are ok only to have something remind us of the past and we’re right back in the saddle, feeling the same pain, guilt, remorse, and shame.
When the Savior said, “I died for your sins” well, He did! He did that because He could and we can’t. But when we make mistakes, and we all do, just as the Savior knew we would, He simply asks us to sincerely ask Him for help. As we feel forgiven, move on! I assure you the Lord has moved on! His grace IS sufficient and He showed us this through His example that we need to do the same.
This is what I have truly embraced and gratefully believe… Here’s the big point through all of this….If we do not forgive and forget it WILL diminish our ability to understand real truth. A damaged heart messes up our ability to think correctly. It affects our ability to move forward in life and diminishes our ability to be a positive force in the world. If we truly want to have peace in our souls and experience the joy God wants us to have in this life, we need to be wise. And I believe this wisdom comes through clear and positive thinking. Let’s pray that our thoughts are not based on hurt or pain, judgment or anger, and especially not on revenge. Nothing good ever comes from that. When we give all our pain to the Savior for true healing (even for the things we’ve done wrong ourselves) compassion and love will fill our lives. This doesn’t mean God wants us to stay in or allow others to hurt or abuse us… quite the contrary. Our Father in Heaven wants us to give our burdens to His Son. He will carry them so we can move on and experience the love and gratitude that comes from forgiveness.
I loved Olivia Newton-John so much. We talked many times about these concepts and how the basis of all illness is stuffed anger, bitterness, and hurt. She said I know if we aren’t able to get these negative thoughts out of our minds they will cause dis-ease or “disease” in our bodies. As James Allen wrote, “As a man thinketh so is he”.
“Remember Marie, people change, truth does not!” as my mother would say to me. “Follow the Lord and not the precepts of men because God is not a God of confusion” and I will add “And definitely not supportive of throwing bricks” 😉
I do not want to just forgive those who have wronged me, I want my experiences to help me have more compassion for others who are hurt. To learn to be a better person, reborn through God’s love.
I wish you nothing but love. I know we will find the joy the Savior has for us when we follow His teachings and example. My love to you all….
#Sundaymessage
May 1-7: Luke 12-17, John 11
May 8-14: Matthew 19-20, Mark 10, Luke 18
May 15-21: Matthew 21-23, Mark 11, Luke 19-20, John 12
May 22-28: Matthew 24-25, Mark 12-13, Luke 21
